Janet Evanovich

About Janet Evanovich

Janet "Novel-A-Day" Evanovich, nee Schneider (Schneider?!), currently aged --YIKES!, 79--was born on the 22nd of April 1943, in a little wood shack in the backwoods of Alabama. HA! Gotcha! It was actually the village of South River, NJ, which we all have to admit wasn't much better. If New Jersey can properly be considered a U.S. state (I have my doubts), then she's a U.S. author of insanely prolific habits with a wide following among both genders and massive--I mean, MASSIVE!--popularity.

A Taurus who graduated from Rutgers, Janet overcame these failings to achieve her current, and amazingly well-sustained, heights as a popular author. Before that happened, however, Janet was just another disconnected, dowdy, spiritless housewife and mother. She didn't begin writing novels until she was into her 30s; apparently she needed something to help her take a break from all the ironing. At that point, she was so embarrassed by her scribblings that she tried to fob them off on the romance novel market, and much to her surprise was a success.

She is, however, best known today for her literally numbered series of novels featuring one Stephanie Plum, female bounty hunter. Beginning with ONE FOR THE MONEY, and continuing to GOING ROGUE-- her 29th installment of the franchise--today, Ms. Evanovich has had a wildly runaway hit on her hands. In fact, from THREE TO GET DEADLY to SMOKIN' SEVENTEEN, she took all her titles from fan submissions--because, hey? Why be original when you don't have to? Apparently (and no wonder) the scheme began to rankle after awhile, and of late she has gravitated toward using NORMAL TITLES for her books. Thank God! (I mean, only the TV series FRIENDS has shown LESS originality about its titles, amiright?)

Ms. Evanovich has publicly and openly admitted, on many occasions, that she flat-out ripped off the Lucy and Ethel franchise for her schtick without going to all the bother of figuring out royalty payments--although now that I think of it, that probably wasn't her actual wording. (NTS--fact-check this)

She is also quite unashamed to let her various personal biases and preferences shine through in her work: she's a great fan of (in no particular order): men, sex with men, food (particularly birthday cake), cars and other things automotive, domestic animals (particularly large, shaggy dogs), and olives (preferably green) on peanut butter sandwiches. Somehow most of these tastes have migrated over into her fictional alter-ego, including a fondness for Tastykakes, which I frankly thought until very recently were a fictional invention of the author's. Surprised again!

Sex with food involved is probably also in there somewhere, though I can't recall a specific instance off the top of my head.

Ms. Evanovich has a writing style I frankly envy--incredibly simple, without all the boredom that attends to much of Hemingway's stuff--funny thanks to incident rather than "style"--and streamlined enough that it's little wonder she can apparently kick out each new novel in a week. Well, I'm exaggerating, but not by all that much.

If I have any serious beef with her writing, it is simply that in these latter years she has strayed from formula to explore some of her own, newer interests (how dare you, lady?!) and begun pinging off in every direction imaginable. The same restless energy that caused her to abandon the romance market is once again rearing its ugly head, and we've now got the Rose "series" (consisting of a single book!), the Knight and Moon series, the Wicked series, the Barnaby and Hooker series, the "Full" series, and near-constant re-releases of her original romance output, which she once found so humiliating she hid it under the pen name of "Steffie Hall." (Actually it's all quite good--damn her!)

The fact that this self-appointed workload is clearly too much for her is readily evidenced by the fact that she keeps bringing in co-authors whom I've no doubt she coerces and/or finagles into assuming the lion's share of the load. (Whuppa!--as Chandler Bing might say.) In fact, I have it from a-source-who-shall-remain-nameless that she has a fully-equipped dungeon in her basement, all set up for "re-educating" co-authors who fail to comply with the plan. (oh, the horror. The horror!) BTW, the reason "ghostwriters" originally got their name was that the "real" authors would LITERALLY WORK THEM UNTIL THEY WERE DEAD. True fact.

Additionally, Janet has "retconned" a number of "Plum" titles into her original bounty hunter series, apparently for the sole purpose of confounding collectors.

To cases. To the best of my -knowledge, Janet Evanovich has never done outcall or worked in any other facet of the adult entertainment industry. I frankly admit I'd probably pay to see that, if only for the novelty value. While no great looker by Babepedia standards, Ms. Evanovich does have the advantage of naturally red (if not naturally curly) hair and she does in fact have her moments. She can rise to the level of cute without too much work, and I"m personally most fond of some of her earlier author photos in which she resembles a sharpei.

Most of Ms. Evanovich's measurements are stingily kept under lock and key in her dungeon vault, so I wasn't able to provide many details on those. What I *can* tell you is that she's a 2nd-generation "American" (the Jersey girl thing) whose challenges in pronouncing English intelligibly are quite pronounced, she has worked in the genres of romance, suspense, and mystery for some years, she married her first and so-far-only husband, Pete Evanovich, in 1964 (tick-tick, Pete), has been active from 1987 to the present day, and is very likely the ONLY author alive and working today with a virtual rock-star following. (Shut up, King fans!)

She is a regular book tour "attendee" and her book signings draw literally thousands. Not bad for literally just scribbling your name. (Sure hope she carries around one of those carpal-tunnel sleeves.)

Currently, according to my sources, Ms. Evanovich dwells alternately between Hawaii and New Jersey, although based on some of her novels I'd wager she once spent a good deal of time in Florida as well. She works 8 or more hours a day, and 4 additional hours per day on weekends, IF WE CAN BELIEVE WHAT SHE TELLS THE PRESS, and works from brief outlines that give only a sentence or two toward each chapter's development.

Her HOW I WRITE is another popular seller of hers, and since her breakthrough novel, HERO AT LARGE, was first published in 1967, she has worked steadily in the field ever since. I wish she would take some time from her busy schedule occasionally to phone me up for a quickie, but so far no luck. Sigh. Too much work isn't good for you, Janet. And sex is one of the most-recommended exercises THERE IS. (Deaf ears, I'm afraid.)

Although she's far more of a "beach read" than a "serious" author (just you try getting through ULYSSES in a day at the beach!), her stories are excellent "potboilers" that reliably entertain and occasionally (very occasionally) inform as well. It you're not already a fan, I recommend becoming one. (Also, what the hell rock did you just crawl out from under?) While she's past her physical shelf-life, obviously, this lady still churns out THE BEST sex writing I've ever read, in the main because she just exploits the incident and doesn't do tedious (sorry) blow-by-blows. Enough of the turgid members and thirsty loins already; we just wanna feel the PASSION! On that count, Evanovich delivers.

(Janet, I'm ready for a hook-up any time you decide you want to throw over the existing baggage. So call me, all right? Toodles!)