About Jean Smart
Born on the 13th of September in 1951 in Seattle, Washington, as the changeling offspring of a mermaid and a kraken, Jean Smart generally passes as a human and in that guise she is most famous for her starring role in DESIGNING WOMEN as Charlene Stillfield from 1986-1991, and her recurring role as "Frasier's girlfriend"--aka Lana Gardner--on FRASIER, 2000-2001. The latter role won her 2 Primetime Emmys and the much-coveted Rachel Award. She has also had a recurring voice role in the animated TV series, KIM POSSIBLE.
Her career began in the theater, where after much heavy lifting she finally won a Tony for Best Actress in 2000 in her Broadway debut (not the same thing) in THE MAN WHO CAME TO DINNER. This was largely because, with her lightning-quick transformational ability, she successfully portrayed all the characters in the play. (She is believed to actually be gender-neutral.)
AWARDS AND OTHER TRIVIA: Jean possesses a BFA from the University of Washington, which is magnetized to her refrigerator. She is 71, yet doesn't look a day over 90. As stated, she began in the theater, but only as a weekend janitor. (Hey, kid, no shame in that; everyone has got to start somewhere.) She is also only the 2nd actress, after Betty White, to "sweep" the Emmys, in the sense of winning awards in all three nominatable categories. (Guess all that practice with pushbrooms paid off. "King--or whatever--of the Road"! )
She also won an Independent Spirit Award for GUINEVERE in 1997 (she portrayed a cheer-leader, anachronistically enough). Other film and TV roles have included THE BRADY BUNCH MOVIE, SWEET HOME LOUISIANA--I think that's right--A SIMPLE FAVOR, and BABYLON, among others. She has never married, preferring to reproduce by photosynthesizing the energy and then splitting herself into two or more identical Charlenes. To avoid confusion, she then has her other selves adopt disguises and entirely different identities. Smart thinking!
(To be continued just as soon as I think up some other cockamamie falsehoods. Wish me luck!)
Ahem. I am rudely informed by the normally reliable wikipedia that, in fact, Charlene--er, Jean, married one Richard Gilliland in 1987 and has 2 children, presumably by him. In light of the fact that she lost him in just 2021, my japing tomfooleries seem more than a bit ill-timed. I am bummed for you, Jean; believe it. The wiki people also seem fairly insistent that she was probably spawned by human parents, so I'll take that theory under advisement, provisionally. Please note, Jean, that if one can respectfully consider a woman a hottie, that that is the niche I occupy, and long have. I would prove it by you if only you would let me. But enough. I've
harpooned two DESIGNING WOMEN thus far and have two to go (I don't count Julia Duffy or Alice Ghostley, let alone Meshach Taylor, for obvious reasons. Original cast members only! Let us fetch a cab, Watson; for the game remains afoot!)
P.S. Dress size is 6, Shoe Size 9.
